You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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