No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Drunk is not a location!
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