I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
