I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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