just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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