I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
