She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
