Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
