That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
