i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
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He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
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Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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