I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
