two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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