I heard we made out
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
