I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
