Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
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Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
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He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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