i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
