You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
