he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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