so that wasnt chicken after all
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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