My room smells like vodka and shame
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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