I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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