thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
