i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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