I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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