its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
