are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
