I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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