Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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