She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize