Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
the liver wants what the liver wants
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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