But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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