thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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