i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Small penises have feelings too.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
