Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
