adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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