Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
