I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
