Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
