I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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