I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
