I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Semen is not good for contacts.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
