i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
