So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
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Operation Purity has been aborted
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
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Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.