pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Randomize
