Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
