I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
