so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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