In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
