They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize