VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
