do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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