"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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