White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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