My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
