i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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