Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
