I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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