I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
