look no pants
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
They are going to name an STD after you.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
