That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
