Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize