Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
