I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
