It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I think weed is turning my hair brown
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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