Hey man sorry I got all grabby
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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