i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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