My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
